Introduction
The heart of the Gender Freedom Society’s mission is to help create a more equitable world for transpeople, nonbinary people, gender nonconforming people, and anyone else who doesn’t follow a “traditional” binary identity. The two pillars of this mission are advocacy and education. This article serves as a balance between the two pillars. To fight for trans rights, we need to know what being transgender is and what it may encompass.Definitions
- Transgender– A person whose gender identity doesn’t align with the gender identity typically associated with their sex assigned at birth. May identify as man, woman, or another identity.
- Cisgender– A person whose gender identity aligns with the gender identity typically associated with their sex assigned at birth. A person who is assigned female at birth who identifies as a woman is cisgender; a person who is assigned male at birth and identifies as a man is also cisgender.
- AFAB/AMAB– An abbreviation for Assigned Female/Male At Birth. Everyone is assigned a sex identifier at birth. This is different from one’s gender identity.
- Nonbinary (Shortened to Enby)– A person whose identity falls outside of the binary of man and woman.
- Transitioning– The process in which a transperson/nonbinary person modifies their circumstances in order to present and live in their true gender identity. Can include social transitioning, medical/physical transitioning, and legal transitioning.
- Gender affirming care– The procedures and medications offered by medical professionals in order to help transpeople alleviate symptoms of gender dysphoria and to feel more affirmed in their gender identity.
- Gender dysphoria– The stress caused by a person’s sex characteristics not aligning with their gender identity and expression.
Do I need to physically transition to be transgender?
Nope! The decision to perform any kind of physical transition is incredibly personal. A person isn’t more or less transgender based on how many surgeries they’ve had or the amount of hormones they have.Physical transition can include many things, depending on the person’s needs. For some, they may have “top” surgery (chest feminization or chest masculinization) and/or “bottom” surgeries (genital reconstruction). People may also choose to be on hormonal treatment (typically testosterone or estrogen/progesterone). Some people are on hormonal treatments for a majority of their lives, while others use hormones for a limited time to complete their transition.
Social Transitioning
Social transitioning is a step that many (but not all) transpeople take. Social transitioning focuses on how a person presents themselves to others. Ways a person may transition socially include: changing their name, using different pronouns, voice training, and dressing differently. There are many reasons a person may choose not to socially transition. Reasons may include safety, comfortableness, or not wanting to. People who do not socially transition are still transgender, just as people who don’t physically transition are still transgender.Binary vs. Nonbinary
There are two large categories under the umbrella of being transgender: binary and nonbinary. A binary identity falls under the label of man or woman (not both). A cisgender woman and a cisgender man are both binary. A transwoman and a transman may also identify with the binary label of woman or man. Remember that transwomen and transmen are real men and women.Being nonbinary means your identity falls outside of man or woman. You could still use man and woman to describe aspects of your identity—our identities are for us to define, after all! Some identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include:
- Nonbinary-A person whose identity falls outside of the gender binary of man and woman.
- Genderfluid-A person whose gender identity fluctuates. Their identity can fluctuate throughout the day, day-to-day, week-to-week, or any other span of time.
- Gender nonconforming (GNC)– A person who doesn’t confine themselves to conventional ideas of gender. Transgender and cisgender people can be gender nonconforming.
- Agender-A person who does not express or identify with a particular gender identity. They may simply identify as themselves.
Gender Identity vs. Sexuality
Gender identity is an internal feeling with external expression. Sexuality typically involves another person, people, or the lack of those people. It’s the attraction that a person feels or doesn’t feel to a person or to people. Sexuality can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or something completely different (queer umbrella term, gay umbrella term). People often question transpeople about their sexuality. They may say things like, “Why don’t you just be a gay man/woman instead of a transperson?” There’s a mistake in thinking that every gay man is attempting to be a woman, or that every lesbian wants to be a man. Some people do identify with being a form of gay or queer before discovering their gender identity while others discover their queerness and transness at a similar time.It can also be confusing to describe one’s sexuality after transitioning. For me, I couldn’t decide which sexuality label to use. While I knew I was attracted to people who identify as women, I wasn’t sure how my identity as a transmasculine person affected that. I love the sapphic community and felt a security in a lesbian identity (despite my regrettable attraction to men). Would transitioning mean I couldn’t identify as sapphic anymore, even though I was dating a queer ciswoman? Too, I didn’t know where I fit into the world of gay men. Was it appropriate for me to enter that space pre-physical transition? Did I even want to venture there? Or should I continue existing in this gray, lonely space instead?
Now, I’ve settled on calling myself a queer or bisexual transmasculine person. It’s where I feel most comfortable identifying. Though it’s been years, I don’t know where I fit in the sapphic community, if there’s space for me at all. In truth, writing this article is the first time in years I’ve felt the ache of being detached from the sapphic world.
So, sexuality and how it interacts with gender can be complicated. The effect one has on the other won’t be fixed and may change throughout your life, but this doesn’t mean you should stop exploring and learning about yourself.
How Do You Know?
Knowing whether or not you’re transgender, nonbinary, or any other gender nonconforming identity is a very personal journey. Some people say they’ve known as long as they can remember. Others don’t know until later in life when they reflect on their identity and experiences. Some clues that you may be transgender include:- Feeling uncomfortable in your body, especially in regards to sex-associated characteristics (breasts, penis, vulva, fat distribution, muscular distribution, Adam’s apple, body hair, etc.)
- Getting a good feeling when someone misgenders you or sees you as androgynous (ex. you’ve grown up as a girl and someone mistakenly calls you a boy or someone has to ask you if you’re a boy/man or a girl/woman)
- Thinking you may enjoy being a different gender and desiring to perform activities associated with that gender identity
- “How do I feel when someone uses pronouns, gendered terms to refer to me, like ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’?”
- “Do I feel like my body doesn’t match me/how I feel?”
- “When I was younger, did I like to pretend to be or dress up as a different gender?”
- “Do I feel like my gender [linked to my sex] assigned at birth doesn’t fit me?”
I didn’t know I was transgender until I was 22. I lied to my family when I came out and told them that I had known my whole life. I was afraid—justifiably—that if I didn’t say that I had felt transgender my whole life, I would be hit over and over again with, “Don’t do anything stupid, it’s just a phase.” And I was, regardless of my insistence that it wasn’t a phase. But in truth, I didn’t realize I was transgender until my girlfriend (now fiancée) asked me, with sincerity, “Do you want to have a penis?”
Throughout my life, I had been picked on and othered for being too masculine for a girl. I was always mocked by other kids, told that I wasn’t “a real girl” and I just wanted to be a boy instead. Part of me looks back on those moments and laughs because those children were right. I did want to be a boy. But the early 00’s didn’t exactly provide a safe space for children to truly explore a gender identity outside of the binary. So, I retaliated against them, yelled at them, and tried to push “boyness” away through the disguise of a girl who just wanted to break gender barriers.
But over ten years later, when my girlfriend asked me, “Do you want to have a penis?”, it was the first time anyone asked me about my gender identity with love. It wasn’t an accusation, it was an invitation to express anything I was comfortable with. She had assured me that whether or not I was transgender, she would love me regardless. That love gave me the strength I needed to explore my identity.
I knew I was transgender because I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t want to have a penis. I couldn’t say at that moment I knew about everything I wanted to do to transition. I didn’t have a new name or know which pronouns I wanted to use yet or anything else. But this first step was the beginning of discovering who I am today.
I May be Transgender… What’s Next?
The most important part of any kind of transition is making sure you’re safe doing so. For some, coming out may lead to various consequences, such as getting kicked out of their home, losing friendships, and even physical violence. Only begin transitioning if it is safe to do so.Taking small steps towards a social transition include trying new pronouns, changing your name or trying a new nickname, and changing the way you style yourself. You don’t have to do any extreme changes you’re not comfortable with. If you’ve been using he/him pronouns your whole life, it’s okay to use he/they pronouns before making any commitment to abandoning he/him. You can tell a few trustworthy people about being genderqueer before declaring it to your entire community.
It’s also okay to change your mind. Gender is a spectrum, as many things in life are. You may not be binary transgender. You also may not be someone who was socialized in a feminine way and wants to completely dive into masculinity. That’s okay! Everyone experiences gender differently and most transitions are going to look different from each other.
Conclusion
This article isn’t the end-all be-all of gender. We encourage you to view our learning resources as well as to seek out information from other credible organizations. We also encourage you to learn from other transpeople through media such as books/audiobooks. If you are experiencing suicidal ideation/intent, please reach out to the following organizations for support:The Trevor Project
Call 1-866-488-7386
Text START to 678-678
Chat online
Trans Lifeline
Monday-Friday 10 AM-6 PM Pacific Time
Call- (877) 565-8860 (U.S.)
Call- (877) 330-6366 (Canada)
LGBT National Hotline
Call- 888-843-4564
Monday-Friday 11 AM – 8 PM Pacific Time
Saturday 9 AM – 2 PM Pacific Time
Apoyo en español
The Trevor Project (México)
Envíales un WhatsApp (24/7)
Chatear en línea (24/7)
Trans Lifeline
Marque el (877) 565-8860 oprime 2 (EE.UU.)
Marque el (877) 330-6366 oprime 2 (Canadá)
Sources
Advocates for Youth. (n.d.) I think I might be transgender. Advocates for Youth. https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/resources/i-think-i-might-be-transgender/Gender Freedom Society. (n.d.) Gender freedom academy. Gender Freedom Society. https://genderfreedomsociety.org/gender-freedom-academy/
LGBT National Help Center. (n.d.) LGBT National Hotline. LGBT National Help Center. https://lgbthotline.org/national-hotline/
Sackton, L. (2023, March 22). Volume 3, No. 11: 100 trans books I love + a long list of trans rights orgs to support. Books & Bakes. https://booksandbakes.substack.com/p/volume-3-no-11-100-trans-books-i
Trans Lifeline. (n.d.) Hotline. Trans Lifeline. https://translifeline.org/hotline/
The Trevor Project. (n.d.) The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/
The Trevor Project (Mexico). (n.d.) The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.mx/ayuda/
